Acceptance Leads to Forgiveness

In early recovery, if someone asked me if I was angry, I immediately responded, “of course not, I never get angry!” I just did not know how many resentments I was carrying around.

I started going to meetings and heard others speak of resentments and their anger, it resonated with me and I finally accepted that this was what I was feeling that I could not quite identify.

Okay, so now I knew what it was, what was I going to do with this feeling?

I heard in the rooms of AA that resentments were the number one offender and that for an alcoholic or drug addict, they were sure to lead us back to a drug or a drink. I also heard that I needed to learn to forgive those who I felt had wronged me or caused me harm in some way. WHAT!

Thankfully, I have had wonderful sponsors to help me find my way. Additionally, our 12 steps provide magic for a way of living and working them helped me find my way to forgiveness.

Just like it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, ACCEPTANCE is the KEY.

I had a woman in my life that always made me resentful. Each time I had an interaction with her I came away angry and resentful. I could not avoid this woman; she is my sister-in-law. For my husband’s sake, I had to learn how to tolerate this woman. What I realized was that every time I had an interaction with her, I approached it with certain expectations of how she SHOULD act, think, and feel. She never performed to my expectations and therefore I was mad. She wasn’t the problem, I was.

Once I was able to accept this woman as she was, where she was, unconditionally, I no longer found myself resentful. My accepting her as the person that she was, letting things be, I no longer had resentments that needed forgiving. Now I had the task of forgiving myself.

I am so grateful to my Higher Power and the spiritual connection Recovery has brought to my life. I know that my God loves me unconditionally and if he can forgive me then who am I to say that I am not deserving of giving that forgiveness to myself?

Recovery has brought so many gifts to my life. Acceptance of people, places, things, as they are and forgiveness are two that I am most grateful for.

— A Grateful Recovering Dentist —