How Recovery has Changed My Relationships with Self, Others and My Dental Practice

When asked to write a short article on this topic, I thought, “ How has Recovery not changed everything in my once broken life?” Being asked to contribute this article has been a wonderful exercise in gratitude!

When I was in the depths of my addiction, I hated the practice of dentistry. I was so comfortable in my isolation. Having to care for patients and be in another person’s personal space for 8 hours each day was torture. I went into treatment promising myself I would not practice dentistry again. I was miserable.

Recovery gave me back the joy of practicing dentistry. I start each day with the Third Step Prayer. This prayer helps me to get my ego out of the way for the day and set the intention to be open and receiving of the Will of my Higher Power. I am better at being present to my patients and my staff. I can stay in the present moment. I can remember to ask for help. With this simple exercise, I find my day off to a good start and usually ending with a good finish.

Similarly, Recovery has changed my relationships with others for the better. Recovery has given me a network of friendships I never dreamed was possible. Community means the world to me and knowing that I have so many friends in my recovery network who know how I feel, good and bad, and would drop everything to help me when I need them, is a gift.

I find that I now know how to mind my own business. What a refreshing concept, to stay in my own lane. No longer do I meddle in the affairs of others just to change the way I feel. Recovery has taught me to recognize this trait of helpfulness for what it is, disguised control. Best of all, it allowed me to avoid dealing with my own problems by focusing on those of others.

I have a better awareness of my codependent behavior choices. I have to work hard every day to refrain from lapsing into codependent behavior. But I know in my heart, that enabling others and doing for them what they can do for themselves is not loving. I have better relationships with my adult children and spouse as a result.

Finally, Recovery has improved my relationship with myself. I have grown my self-esteem by doing esteem-able things. I no longer feel the need to manage other people’s emotions. I don’t take these things personally, it’s not my stuff. I no longer feel guilty when I stand up for myself. It feels good to set boundaries and keep them in place. I am aware when I people please. I don’t beat myself up for it, I just try to do better the next time. Recovery has taught me that I am worthy of being loved and appreciated just because I exist. I do not have to DO to be loved. But best of all, recovery has given me joy, joy of life and life’s experiences. Joy for my granddaughter’s little smile and her bright future!

A Grateful Dentist in Recovery