Dealing and Coping with Stress in Everyday Life

Recovery is full of many blessings, but I can truly say that one of the greatest for me is learning how to manage life stressors, big and small. Prior to recovery, that voice in my head was so active. I really don’t know how I was able to move through each day and think of anything productive, so active were my ruminating thoughts. I spent most of my time with “I should have, or I could have, or what if, or now what?”. It kept me anxious and physically ill. I looked for a way to ease my pain and found my answer in drugs and alcohol.

The first and most helpful tool to manage stress I have learned in recovery is working the 12 steps.  Step 1 teaches me that I am POWERLESS over people, places, and things. I need to strive to practice acceptance in all things. This step also teaches me to stay in the present moment.  By staying present, I cease to regret the past or worry over the future. I keep myself where my feet are and I don’t miss out on my blessings. As I have practiced this step, it has moved from my head into my heart. Somehow like magic, the ruminating thoughts have vanished, along with that constant voice in my head.

Step 2 tells me that there is a power greater than me, and along with Step 3, I can choose to let that power handle my will and my life. By turning over my will and my life to a Higher Power, I need not carry the stress of everyday life any longer. I have a dear friend who is at the ready to do this for me if I will only let them.

Step 4 helps me when resentments rear their ugly head and they always do. Step 4 teaches me to look at my part in the resentment. I have always found, after careful inspection, that I am usually the one who creates all my resentments. I set the wheel in motion. My biggest challenge is codependency. I refuse to take care of myself, I sacrifice myself in order to care for others. After a while I feel resentful. Am I entitled to this resentment? Each time I work this step on this issue, I come to the same conclusion, NO I AM NOT!

The second helpful tool to manage everyday stress I utilize is self-care. I try to eat the right foods and get good sleep each night. By remembering the basics of my program, working a 10th step each night helps me lie my head down and have a good night’s rest. I try to exercise, at least walk daily, although my physician tells me walking up and down the hall at the office doesn’t count! Finally, I leave room each day for joy in my life. I have hobbies I enjoy. I spend time away from the office with family and friends. I love to travel and plan yearly escapes with my favorite travel companion, my husband.

Finally, I know that my ability to handle life’s everyday stressors is directly correlated to my Spiritual Fitness. The farther I step away from my Higher Power, the more stress invades daily life.

Attending 12-step meetings on a regular basis, meeting with my Sponsor, talking regularly with others in my recovery network, and being of service are all ways I stay spiritually connected.  If I find myself in the grips of fear, I have only to look behind me and count the ways my Higher Power has always provided for me, and I know that I have no reason to doubt that this moment of stress and worry will not be any different. There is a peace to knowing that I do not have to know the time or the why of any outcome, only trust that my Higher Power has my best interest at heart. This has always been the case when I look at my past. Who am I to doubt that it will not be the case for my future?  Holding this belief close and staying spiritually connected dispels any stress I might encounter today in my everyday life.

-A Grateful Recovering Dentist