Grateful

My life is very different now. Years ago, I was trapped in an endless cycle of alcohol/addiction. I tried for years to end it on my own.Trying various ways….substituting this for that, going through withdrawals and recapitulating. I am thankful for the fact that I gave up and asked for help before hurting myself or someone else. I finally realized that I had had enough and needed help.

I was tired of substances ruling me…. planning my life around substances… not being able to look at myself in the mirror… the constant ‘shucking and jiving’ as one friend in recovery put it.

Through the grace of God and 3 months in a treatment center that all turned around and now am so thankful that I do not live in constant fear, worry and dread. Through my recovery I have met numerous friends…real friends, and a wonderful wife. I am so thankful every day that I am not carrying around that terrible feeling in my gut. Seeing people and thinking ‘If you really knew me and knew how bad I feel…’

My life now, like everyone else’s, is not perfect. But now I can allow myself to feel things without the need to numb myself and put these feelings on the back burner constantly low boiling deep in my psyche. Tomorrow morning, like this morning, I will wake up and be able to look at myself in the mirror. I will face my problems and deal with them with the help of my wife, my friends in recovery and spiritual guidance….and not by myself.

When I think about the road that I was headed down before, I am incredibly thankful and incredibly blessed!

— A Grateful Recovering Dentist —